A New Blog and a New Beginning

new blog

Note: For security and privacy reasons, I will be starting a new blog. I will be writing about abuse issues, as well as whatever comes to my mind regarding this amazing Christian life that we share! If you would like to follow me there, just email me at setfree15@yahoo.ca The blog is currently under construction, but I hope to begin posting soon.

 

 

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I’m Back!

broken-shackles

I’m sitting here at a library computer, so I’ll keep this post brief, for now. I haven’t been able to remember my blog’s username and password, until today! It happened unexpectedly, so I don’t have a blog post prepared, yet! The Lord is SO good, because I’ve only felt ready to blog again in the past few days. I’ve been able to read your comments, and reply, using my Android phone (simply because I never logged out). However, I find it very awkward to type for any length of time on the teeny weeny keyboard!

I’m looking forward to sharing a detailed update very soon. I am still separated from my abusive husband, despite occasional temptations to return. Now I know that I will never go back! The Lord has exposed a lot of darkness in the relationship and I finally was able to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Now I understand who my husband is and why he does the things he does! I believe that he has a personality disorder, and the descriptions that I have read fit him to a tee! It’s still not good news, but it explains a lot to me!

So, I hope to be back soon with more to share! Thank you for your prayers and comments. There have been many dark days, and my recovery is ongoing. I hadn’t realized just how much damage had been done to me! I’m even experiencing some of the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)! But I know that my God can heal the effects of abuse…for me and for you!

Praise the Lord! He sets the captives free!

Much love,

B.

 

I’m On Blogging Hiatus

feeling alone

I apologize to everyone for not being around for awhile! My blogging future is up in the air.

When I started this blog, I had no idea how life-changing it would be. So many of you are abuse survivors, as I am. I didn’t understand why the Lord would orchestrate such a situation, since I believed that it was far in my past, and had been “dealt with”.

Then the Lord began exposing the spiritual abuse that I have lived with for 14 years, through a controlling man that my husband and I had allowed to have too much authority in our life. The blinders were being removed and it was shocking to see what was going on! Some dear online friends helped me to put things into perspective. Unfortunately, my husband has not seen through this man, and defends him. More than that, he does not step up to defend me, as I am being verbally attacked by the man, because I have withdrawn from him. In both of their eyes, I am “in the grip of the devil”.

The next thing the Lord exposed to me was the huge amount of abuse that I am living under with my husband! I will not share too many details, but this is a relationship that was NOT meant to be, but I did not heed the MANY red flags over the years. I was desperate to be married and to have financial security, so I pushed my agenda rather than trust the Lord!! I am doing a lot of repenting these days. I can hardly believe the things that I have allowed to go on!

I am in the process of leaving that marriage. There has been much emotional abuse, financial abuse, social isolation from friends and family, many lies, put-downs, and treating me like a slave to meet his every need. Maybe I could continue bearing with that, but there is another woman in his life. He had known her for about 12 years before he met me and the relationship had never ended. I was told that they were just friends, but that’s not what the evidence points to. They love one another and I won’t live with that anymore.

I am now at our country property in a remote location, visiting my son. My husband admits that we are growing apart, as he says, but I haven’t told him that I am leaving. I plan to do that next week, sometime, when I go back for one more car load of items.

I’m typing this on a library computer. There is satellite internet on our property, but the signal is very sporadic. It may be difficult to continue blogging, but once I am settled, I could write a weekly post. I would like to continue in fellowship with you all! You might not hear from me for about a month, just so you know.

I would appreciate your prayers!

The Sufferings Of This Present Time

the sufferings of this present timeby James Smith, 1862
“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time—are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us!” Romans 8:18

Paul compares present sufferings—with future glory.

Believers are exposed to all kinds of suffering, and instead of obtaining an exemption from afflictions—they are assured that it is through much tribulation that they must enter into the kingdom of God.

Some endure inward suffering, with which no one is fully acquainted but God Himself. They have such darkness, gloom, distress, agitation, trouble, and sorrow—as would not be easy to describe.

Some suffer much in body, from the stressed and disordered state of the nervous system, from chronic diseases, or deformities in the physical frame. They seldom move without suffering, and for years together have but little freedom from weakness and pain. They live a life of suffering, a kind of dying life—and think much of heaven as of a place where there is no more pain.

Some suffer much financially; scarcely anything seems to prosper with them; losses, crosses, and opposition meet them at every turn; and though they live honestly, and conduct their business honorably—they are thwarted, hindered, and filled with perplexity. No one can tell what they suffer from financial trials and difficulties.

Others suffer from reproach, misrepresentation, strife, and persecution in the world, or in the Church—or both! No one seems to understand them, or is prepared to sympathize with them; they are like “a sparrow alone upon the house-top.” False friends and open enemies unite to trouble and distress them, so that they often sigh, and say, “O that I had wings like a dove, for then would I fly away and be at rest!”

Others in the domestic circle, or from some of the relationships of life—are called to suffer long and seriously.

But whether from trouble of mind, sickness of body, trials in business, family difficulties, or persecution for Christ’s sake—all suffer, and most believers suffer much!

But compare their present sufferings—with their future glory:
Glory which will exclude all pain and suffering, all sin and sorrow!
Glory beyond the reach of all foes and the cause of all trouble!
Glory which includes happiness—perfect, perpetual, never-ending happiness!
Glory which includes honor—the highest, holiest, and most satisfying honor!
Glory, or splendor—which will fill the soul, clothe the body, and dignify the entire person forever!

Filled with light, peace, and joy; clothed with beauty, brightness, and magnificence—they will appear with Christ in glory—filling them with wonder and unutterable delight!

This glory will be possessed by us—as part of our marriage portion and inalienable inheritance. But we can form no adequate idea of that glory, for “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined—what God has prepared for those who love Him!” 1 Corinthians 2:9

Learning from the Least of These

See, there's this thing called biology...

Sometimes in the course of my job, I am sent in to check on people who have developmental delays but manage to live fairly independently. If you ever want to observe and learn about the nature of people, this is the population to hang out with. There’s no guile there, no intellectual rabbit holes to fall down, just some really simple human behavior and lots of love. I use to think it would be awful to have downs syndrome or some form of DD, but I don’t anymore. Sometimes I actually envy them their wisdom. Often they totally out wit me, which can be rather humbling.

It’s somewhat amusing, I encounter the oddest things. Putting all your shoes in the refrigerator, for example. It keeps your feet cool and they never smell. That’s actually very wise and based on sound science, we put food in the fridge for that exact…

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The very system of our churches is flawed

A Call To The Remnant

The title of this piece is very controversial. I have lost friends over this subject. I do not take it lightly. It is quite an audacious thing to say that the very system that most of Christendom labors under is un-biblical and flawed but there it is, that is what I believe. The mere fact that it has existed in some form or fashion for countless centuries in no way legitimizes it.  If it did, then the Catholic church would be the most legitimate church out there. It seems plain enough that in Scripture, Christians met in their homes and their very homes became places of worship, houses of prayer if you like. The outside world saw life in these people, saw love in these people and God Himself added to them daily. Think about all the church programs that are designed to ” get,” new members or to somehow…

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Suffering is the path that leads to glory!

A Call To The Remnant

A wise man once wrote ” Friction is the polish that shines our graces.” Another way of saying that could be ” suffering is the path that leads to glory.” Now, this is never a popular teaching, but suffering is a gift from God in the sense that it helps to sanctify us and shape us and teach us. The flesh screams out against ever going down that path. As mere humans we would never personally choose to go down such a path. Yet do you know what that path is called? It’s called the narrow path and it leads to life. One might ask ” how can trials and humiliations , pain and suffering and even sometimes death lead to life?” As Christians, do we really need to ask that question? This was the life of Christ. He was acquainted with suffering, He was a man of sorrows. Some…

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